Some Things To Think About

My friend read me some humurous thoughts the other night and we had a good time laughing at some of them. Figured I'd post some in hopes they bring a smile to your face.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
6. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
7. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
8. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
9. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
10. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
11. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
12. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
13. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
14. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
15. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.